The Education Series: Part 1

Dear Fati,

                I was drafting this letter yesterday during lunch because I felt angry, betrayed, frustrated, sad, excited about future prospects and literally everything in between. I had written a nice chunk before the end of the break at work and I was excited to finish it once I arrived home. However, after eating my mom's big meal, I went into a food coma and I switched off my computer without saving the first draft on my computer. Big fumble but I am glad I am currently continuing from where I left off yesterday. The reason I was writing during my break yesterday was because I was angry. Like really angry. Maybe even furious. I felt like the type of rage I had before noon yesterday could empower me to tear apart a lion rather than the other way round.  Now, you might be wondering why I was so angry. Well, I was enraged by many things. Let's backtrack to yesterday morning. My brother was preparing for secondary school, I was preparing for work, and my younger twin brothers, PraiseGod and ThankGod, were preparing for primary school as well. In the meantime, my mom called me to show me the letter she had just gotten from the tax department and social services telling her to pay a huge fine for failing to pay her dues on time. She was asking me for advice on what to do. And I did with the limited legal knowledge I had acquired from my first day at law school in Amsterdam. Thankfully, I dropped out after the first day.

                Meanwhile, I was boiling up that I had to go to a job that has taken me less than a week to grasp even though I had to wait anywhere between 14-16 years before I could start working and earning some money to take care of myself and my family. In the corner, my three siblings were off to school with their faded jeans, old t-shirts and somewhat shabby sweatshirts. I was uncontrollably pissed because I felt cheated by the government, society, and our educational system. And I was even angrier when I realized my siblings might have to go through the same thing if nothing changes. Also, my mother might keep struggling for many years to come. For starters, she came to the Netherlands with a degree in biology from a Nigerian university which also shares the same FUCKING western and white educational system. However, they said the degree didn’t meet the ‘’requirements of the Dutch educational standards’’ even though the material she studied in Nigeria is more or less the same thing that is taught in the Netherlands. And I forgot to mention that it would take her another 9 years before she would become officially documented.

Now, she is back in school at the age of fifty trying to see if she can complete a nursing home certification that would allow her to get a better job. Never mind that she had to struggle for four years to pick up the language, do the integration courses, and meet certain requirements needed for her ‘’ naturalization’’ into Dutch society. Now, I am just starting to stand on my feet after spending nineteen years learning and forgetting. And that’s a long time to spend at learning and forgetting SHIT that I don’t need. My mom is struggling, my siblings are struggling and I am struggling. I was disillusioned, enraged, frustrated, bitter and disheartened because I saw the many connections many were completely blind to. I felt my heart shattering into brittle and hard pieces, like a beautiful glass that had fallen unexpectedly from the table. It felt like I had just experienced a terrible break-up and I wanted to burst into tears. But I held it all in-I had to go to work anyways. By the way, two days after writing the previous sentence, I was fired and I couldn’t be any happier that I was fired from a job that I absolutely hated. I knew I would finish this letter and it would be the start of many good things to come. Creativity, ideas, writing, and entrepreneurship. And I think my heart was right! I feel like I am entering into one of the most creative periods of my life and I am excited to see what will be coming out of the next five years. I am excited to fail forward and grow.

Yours truly,

Gideon.

                                                              End of part 1.